Censored

The post that used to be here has been censored and removed by my wife.

What happend to the Bill of Rights?

Opening Day of Archery Season

So I went hunting on the first day of archery season and things did not go as planned. The weather was the main factor in the foul up of plans. It had rained all day on Thursday and Friday before hunting season. I wok eup early on Saturday and it was not raining. I drove to my location and hit so patches of rain, but no rain at my location.

My friend and I started walking into the woods at 630am and of course it starts to rain. I stayed in my treestand until 845am and was drenched. My clothes are waterproof, so I was dry underneath, but I was 10 pounds heavier from the moisture sitting on my clothes. We killed some time at my friend's dad's store/check station. ONE guy checked in a 7point buck. It rained until about 1130am, so then we went back into the woods. When we got to the edge of the woods, we did see ONE deer about 75 yards off (that is not a good shooting distance with a bow). We continued on to the treestands and of course once we got there...it F-ing rained again. We stayed out there for a couple of hours and then retreated to the store again.

I left the store around 3pm and it was not raining. It did not rain the remainder of the day. When I got home and was doing my hunting laundry...I found my friend's walkie-talkie in my pocket. I called to tell him that I had it and he told me that his dad had gone out in the woods around 4pm and took photos of 4 deer under my friend's treestand. Ain't that a BIATCH!?

My friend is taking Columbus Day off of work and going hunting. I am hoping to get out there right after school for a few hours. We shall see. PEACE MONKEYS!

Hunting season

Guess what? Hunting season is right around the corner. I am estimating that the first deer of the year for me will fall at 8:30am on October 7th. Yes, that is the first morning. If it's brown it's down. PEACE MONKEYS!

ANSWERS

Nikki said...
1. How did you know EC was "the one"? Like everyone else has said, I cannot pin it down to one specific moment. I probably knew sometime during the summer of 2001 that she was the one. She had tore my heart out and shit on it prior to that summer, but I got her back and figured it out from there. I wanted her to be the one long before the summer of 2001.

2. Favorite color? Navy Blue is currently my favorite color...I guess you could say that it is a man thing. Green was my favorite color growing up. Grey is also a good color. I wear alot if not nothing but grey t-shirts and both of our vehicles are grey.

3. Favorite memory from Chowan? Winning a horseshoe tournament with Karl in 5 throws. Winning 26+ straight games of beer pong at Tak's and then destroying the baseball pitchers in 6 throws (3 double backs). Losing a fight with a street sign. Wiffle ball. Giving my graduation speech.

4. When do you think you two will spawn another genius baby? Well, we have to hope and see that Evan is a genius before we have another, but I am sure he can meet our expectations. I will have to say by the Spring or Summer of 2009, we will spawn the next "girl" genius. You never know, things could happen sooner.

kyleen said...
1-If you could have any coaching job in the world - where would it be and why? At a local high school, coaching my daughter's basketball team to a state championship. I have always dreamed of being in that situation. Second choice would be at any D1 school winning a men's or women's championship.

2-Pick a song or two that best describes you and tell why. It was your song by Garth Brooks. I have always been a momma's boy and done everything for my mom. I still do the things that I do for other people and I find my strength in them. I love this bar and Let's get drunk and be somebody, both by Toby Keith. No, I am not an alcoholic...I just like hanging out and socially drinking with others. I also still dream to open my own bar.

3-What was high school like for you? High school was like my first semester at Chowan. I was a nobody who got by being a nerd with connections. I made stellar grades in HS, did not hang out, had no girlfriend, and was active in sports. First semester of Chowan HS...stellar grades, did not hang out, no girlfriend, and was active in the athletic program. Who knew that I would be as awesome as I am today?

Erika said...
What is your favorite thing about our house? That it is a house and not a townhouse (attached to another house). The only time in my 25 (almost 26) years of life I have not lived in a real house was in the college dorms, our first apartment, and our first townhouse. My favorite rooms are the office and the man room.

What is your favorite thing about being a dad? My favorite things about being a dad is watching Evan laugh and respond to me like he does to no one else. I also like to think about the things that I will be able to share with him that others cannot.

I hope that satisfies everyone. PEACE MONKEYS!

I will play

Being that I never have anything to blog about. I am willing to play the 20 questions game. Maybe then I will have something to do when I am up late at night not working on my last class to finish my masters. PEACE MONKEYS!

I do not know

Don't you hate when you have all kinds of shit on your mind, but you cannot type any of it out because there is a block somewhere in your synapses? I think about a lot of shit. Sometimes it makes sense to me and sometimes it does not. This probably make no sense to you, but that is OK because it is my blog. I honestly think my brain might explode.

I am a weird person! Peace monkeys!

Bullshit class

So after that long, long story about Alamance Community College...I started taking the nutrition class last Tuesday (8/15) and I finished it in 4 days. That's right, I sat my ass down and worked for about 2 hours a day and finished the class in 4 days. I just want to send ECU a big FU for saying that I had a deficiency from my undergrad years.

I did not have a deficiency...Chowan had a deficiency. WTF ever! The last assignment was to complete an online survey/evaluation for the class and then email the professor to tell her that I was finished. I emailed her to tell her that I was finished but could not find the evaluation. She told me that the evaluation does not come out until the last two weeks of the semester (that is in December). She did not mention anything about my completeion of the class. I wanted to email her back and say, "Biatch, I just slammed your class in 4 days. Can you at least give a boy a shout out!"

PEACE MONKEYS!

Robin Hood

Today, EC was in Danville so I headed out to FR City so I would not have to sit at the house all day and watch Evan drule like I do 5 other days a week. I dropped hin off at my mom's house and then my dad and I went to Bridgewater College to take stuff to my sister. When we got back I got in touch with a friend to see if he wanted to shoot his bow. He said that he was going to a bow shop and that I could ride along, so I did. We went, came back, and then shot our bows in his backyard for a while.

Background info...I bought my first bow about 10 years ago at a pawn shop. My friend bought a new bow last year, so I bought his old bow off of him for $100 last year because it was better than mine. This year, he decided to buy the new Matthews Switchback XT, so of course I get the hand me downs. He is letting me use his old bow, a Martin Razor X, and we are in negociations about a possible purchase of the bow.

I have always been a pretty good shot whether it was with a bow, gun, or whatever. Today I was trying to make sure that my broadheads (hunting tips) were hitting in the same place as my field points (practice tips). I was shooting and we heard one of my arrows hit another arrow. This was no big deal, we nick the arrows all of the time. When we went to retrieve the arrows, the second arrow had hit the first right in the nock and shattered the end of the arrow. I would show you a picture, but I threw the arrow away. So I came pretty damn close to pulling a Robin Hood and splitting the arrow.

It never fails that I mess something up when I shoot my bow with my friend. The last time I snapped an arrow because it hit a piece of metal the wrong way and who knows. 2 times ago I shot over the 3D target and almost killed a cow. And usually I lose an arrow somewhere. Today's loss is a good problem to have. When you mess up arrows with other arrows, that means you are shooting good. It sucks that these arrows are about $8 or $9 a piece.

If I can get my arrow back, I will send pics. PEACE MONKEYS!

Alamance Community College

Some of you know that I am working on my master's at East Carolina University. I am paying out of state tuition at $659 per credit hour. Let's multiply this by 36.

I have known from the beginning that I needed to take 2 undergraduate courses to fulfill a deficiency because Chowan College did not teach me enough. I just found out that even though they are undergrad courses...I had to pay the graduate rate because I am a grad student. Now to Alamance...

I applied there because it is the only college that I can find an undergrad Nutrition class that is offered online. Plus...I will only have to pay $600 and some change for the CLASS instead of that much per credit.

I called ACC today to see if I had been accepted and they told me yes. Funny that I had not been told that yet. I asked how I could register for my class and the lady told me to come to the school and register in person tomorrow with everyone else. I told her that I live 400 miles away...can't I do it online or over the phone. She saud they stopped doing that couple of months ago. She tarnsfered me to some guy, but he was not there so I left a message. I called back to see if someone else would tell me something different, but again I was told to come to ACC. So that pissed me off and I started checking out other places.

At about 3:45pm guy number one called and asked how he could help me. O asked if I could register for a class online or over the phone. He said SURE. We registered right there on the phone in less than 3 minutes. He said just call the business office and arrange for payment. Are you going to be paying with a credit card over the phone. I said I gladly would. He gave me the number and hung up.

I called the business office and asked if I could pay with a card over the phone. The lady said we stopped taking phone payments yesterday and that I needed to come to ACC and pay tomorrow. Again, I explained about being out of state. She transferred me to her "controller." I asked if I could pay for a class that I had just registered for. He asked when I registered. I said 15 minutes ago with guy number 1 over the phone. This dude asks did guy #1 say to pay over the phone. I was like NO, but he asked if that is how I was going to pay. Dude takes my information and says if you do not hear back from me then everything went ok.

This just goes to show that all NC schools suck. I graduated from Chowan High School in 2002 with a 3.9, now I am at ECU with a 4.0, paying too much for classes that are not worth my time, and finally I am at a school that does not do online registering or payments. I am starting my doctorate at UVA in the spring. F NC.

Books

From Effected:

1. One Book That Changed Your Life: The Seven Secrets of Successful Coaches

2. One Book That You've Read More Than Once: None. I am lucky to read a book once.

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island: A book on survival.

4. One Book That Made You Laugh: I am a visual laugher. Books don't do it.

5. One Book That Made You Cry: Nothing here either.

6. One Book That You Wish Had Been Written: How to grow a money tree.

7. One Book That You Wish Had Never Been Written: All books.

8. The Book That You Are Currently Reading: HA...read number 2.

9. One Book That You've Been Meaning to Read: None.

S H I T

I have been seeing the commercials for the new movie "Accepted." The one where some kid who did not get into any college - starts his own college. He starts a college called South Harmon Institute of Technology (SHIT). I am sure that is played on somewhere in the movie. That's all for now.

PEACE MONKEYS!

Volleyball

Today will be the first day of volleyball tryouts at the high school I help coach at. I cannot wait to get there. Coaching fills a hole that I have in my heart. I wonder how the team will be this year. We were ranked number 1 in VA last year for 3/4 of the season and then lost in the state tournament.

We lost some good talent last year, so this year will be interesting. The District title will come down between us and Fauquier. They finished second behind us last year. The Region will come down to us, Fauquier, Forest Park, and another team to be announced later. It could be tough to make the state tournament this year. All I know is that I am glad to be working with a quality team and a coach that has it all together. All of my past head coaches were dumber than shit.

We need a right side hitter and a middle blocker. If you have one, send them my way.

I said bike helmet mom!

Evan got his helmet/band this morning. The first picture is before any adjustments and the second is the final thing with our helmet person. Evan told his mommy that he wanted a bike helmet for his 4 month birthday next week, but she is slow. WTF!

I am dead sexy...biatches!

BYRUS ALERT!

BUENOS DIAS!!!

JOU HAVE YUST RECEIBED A MESICAN BYRUS.

SIN WE NO HABE SO GOOD TECHNIOLOGICALLY ADBANCE IN MEHICO, DEES IS A MANUAL BYRUS.

PLEESE DELETE ALL JOUR FILES ON JOUR HARD-DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND THEES E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW.

TANK JOU FOR HELPIN ME.

JULIO MANUEL JOSE RODRIGUEZ-GARCIA----MESICAN HACKER

ME ME ME ME

I think this is the first one of these I have ever filled out.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? No, cops in the Boro do not follow the rules.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? Only when the wind bothers my eyes. I am an adrenaline junky.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Back in high school, we were pulling sleds with four-wheelers.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? I can sleep anywhere. I rather sleep with someone as long as they keep their ass on their side of the bed.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Not really.

6. Do you consider yourself creative? I am creative in certain ways. Not like design or layout or anything.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? YES.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Jennifer because she is the girl next door. Angelina because she’s a freak.

9. Do you stay friends with your exes? I have so many it is so hard to do. Yes I do.

10. Do you know how to play poker? I can, but I have no one to play with.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yes.

12. What's your favorite commercial? I can't remember right now...I'll come back to this one later.

13. What are you allergic to? Nothing.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? Only in FR or the Boro. The intersections are too big up here and the cops are assholes.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Probably.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? Sox.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Yes and do it well.

18. How often do you remember your dreams? Sometimes.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Probably never…I do not find too many things that funny.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? No, who gives a shit about the Beatles.

21. What's the one thing on your mind now? The amount of work that I have left in my summer school class and bow hunting.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is? The biatch that walks down my street everyday.

23. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yes in the CRV because you cannot turn off the ringer. Not always in the F150.

24. What cell service do you use? Verizon.

25. Do you like sushi? Nope and have never tried it.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? Yes.

27. What do you wear to bed? Shorts.

28. Been caught stealing? Yes.

29. What shoe size do you have? 13

30. Do you truly hate anyone? Not today.

31. Classic Rock or Rap? Neither, but I guess classic rock is better.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? The list is too long…probably Jennifer or Angelina or both at the same time.

33. Favorite Song? The wheels on the bus. You feel like an ass when you sing it, but it does make you smile. Does that make me gay?

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror? Yes.

35. What food do you find disgusting? Most any vegetable.

36. Do you sing in the shower? Yes.

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"? Not that I can remember.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? Yes and to his/her face…I have no heart.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? More than enough times.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face? Yes in 7th grade. It was more of a cheek shot, but that is my face. That assclown is dead or in jail now. We were actually the best of friend in kindergarten.

Talledaga Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

In this new movie, Will Ferrell plays a NASCAR driver who is a complete RETARD. There is one part in the movie where a guy says, "He has two first names." I got to thinking about it, there are a lot of drivers on the Nextel Cup Circuit with two first names. Some of them are a stretch, but use your imagination. The are the main drivers minus the ones who race a couple races a year.

Dave Blaney (stretch) - Jeff Burton - Carl Edwards (take off the s) - Robby Gordon - Jeff Gordon - Dale Jarrett - Jimmie Johnson (stretch) - Mark Martin - Ryan Newman - Tony Raines (stretch) - Scotts Riggs (stretch) - Tony Stewart.

That is almost a third of the main drivers. So I guess that Ricky Bobby is not too far out there.

Bib for 07/21/06

Here is the bib for today.

First bib!

So I decided to put a bib on Evan today for his morning feeding. I like the bib because I hope that he goes to a quality school someday instead of a high school/college like his mother and I did. Oh wait...it is a university now. Who gives a shit...it still sucks.

No comments please about spitting up on UVA and that Tech is better. He has Tech diapers and I think I can smell it now. That and he is grunting real loud.

Let's piss away money

So today I went to my parents house so my mom could babysit little E and I could work on my classwork that I am way behind in. It worked out pretty good. I got some work done and am catching up...kind of.

While at the house I happened to tell my dad to look out for a particular rifle for me. It is a Ruger 10/22 with a bull barrel. Of course this is my way of hinting to my dad, Go find one and buy it for me. I do not know how many times in my life he has purchased guns and shown them to me only to say, "Don't tell your mother that I bought/have this one." I figure he might as well buy it. I will end up with it one day anyway. My brother might want a gun or two someday, but he is not a gun person. I am pretty sure that I could negotiate a deal with my brother where he gets the AK-47 and I get the rest. After that, I wait until his future significant other (being optimistic here) tells him no and then I get them all.

I am also working on getting a night vision rifle scope for the Ruger 10/22. I have one picked out. It is not too fancy, but it will do the trick. Here it is, the Newcon NS 156. There are better ones out there, but there is no need to go crazy one spending yet.

My friend, who I am working on the project with, is in charge of the silencer. He has his 22 handgun threaded for a silencer but has not bought it yet. Right now he just uses coke bottles and they work great for about 2 shots and then it is too loud. That's right, the shit in movies does actually work. He puts the bottle cap over the tip of the barrel, then twists on a metal attachment to hold the cap on, and then twists on the bottle. Bang, bang, dead squirrels with no sound! Sssshhhh.

You are probably wondering why I would do this. I would do this for the same reasons that people put exspensive stereos in cars, rims on cars, spend money on scrapbooks, blog about shoes, or spend money on anything. BECAUSE I CAN!

Project costs: gun - approx. $200, night vision - approx. $400, silencer tax fee - $200, and silencer - $200. So I ask you...What kind of dumb shit can you piss away a grand on?

Fantasy Sports Update!

I am not big in Fantasy Sports, but I participate in two leagues. I enjoy Fantasy Football the most. I have been in a league with my brother, brother-in-law, and his friends for about 4 years. The first two years, my brother and I dominated the league and always finished 1 and 2 in the league. The first year, he beat me everytime we were matched up. The second year, we split in the regular season and then he won in the postseason. Last year sucked! I had awesome players (so I thought), but they dropped the ball big time. I started last season 7-1, which is fantastic. From there, I screwed the pooch most every week. It got late in the season and there was only one spot left in the winner's bracket for the playoffs. I needed to win the final three games and someone needed to lose the final three games. I did all that I could and even beat the guy that needed to lose 3 times. I did lose one game buy 1 MFing point. Therefore, I was sent to the loser's bracket for the playoffs. I totally ASS-pounded everyone in the retard playoffs and won the bracket. I just received my invitation for this year's football league and I am ready to go. I do not do anything pre-draft. I take what I am dealt and then let the BRAIN take over from there.

Fantasy NASCAR is something new this year for me. An invitation was thrown out there on blogger to join a league. I asked about the league and how Fantasy NASCAR worked. A reply was given with the appropriate passwords and a side message of "join if you think you can kick our asses." Me being the competitor that I am could not let that slide, so I joined in. I do not watch NASCAR, nor do I give a shit about NASCAR. I can tell you drivers and sponsorers, but that is just the sport's brain talking. I read the scoring details of the league and came up with a plan for the first week (pick my favorite/most popular drivers). After week one, I was in fourth place and the smack talker was in second. After week 2, I was in second and smack talker was in third. After week three, I was in first place and smack talker was nowhere to be found. Let's just say, we are in week 20 and I still am the top dawg and have been for 17 weeks. Smack talker is sitting in 9th out of 13.

The reason for this post was for me to tell about my successes because I am ready for football season and to shit on Ryan Newman. This past week in NASCAR all of my drivers for the week started the race in the top 8. They did not finish there. It was a bad week for everyone, so I still have a good lead on the pack. There are 3 maybe 4 of us that are out there. I just want to say that I have used Ryan Newman twice and he has shit on me twice. I will NEVER use his sorry ass again. He had the pole position and finished 39th. I do not care if you do not win the race, but at least finish in the top 15. I have not had the most points in any given week this season. I am just consistent. Ryan "I cannot drive" Newman does not help me stay consistent. He deserves to catch an STD and die a painful death.

Now that I have posted my successes, watch me crumble the rest of the season. It does not matter as long as I finish better that Smack talker.

PEACE MONKEYS!

I lost my keys!

So I gave the baby some toys this morning to keep him occupied for a few minutes. I hung the keys on his thumb and when I came back they had managed to slide all the way down his arm. He is clueless. So I gave them back to him to post this and all I hear are the keeys banging up against the wall. Oh wait...I think that was them sliding between the wall and the changing table to the floor. Have a good one! Not much planned here today. We might watch the Ringer with Johnny Knoxville and I will try to work on my Master's work.

Peace monkey!

Dumbass!

About a week ago or so, the family loaded up in the CRV and went out to run errands. EC went into AC Moore (craft store), which is next to Best Buy. E and I road around the Best Buy parking lot while EC was returning something in the other store. While riding around, a guy was waiting outside of Best Buy with his trunk open for the workers to load a TV in his car. You should have seen the faces of the workers when they walked outside. The guy was driving a Camary and bought a BIG TV. No, he did not buy your regular big screen. He got the biggest square, regular TV you can buy (30 some inches?).

I do not know sizes of TV buy looking at them. All I know is we have two 20 inch TVs, one 43 inch TV, and my 100+ inch projection screen in our house. Oh...I can fit all of them in my truck. If I wanted too, I could put them all in the CRV.

So dumbasses, if you are reading this, do not bring your little car to stores to buy big shit!

Craig's List

If you do not know about it, YOU NEED TOO! My brother-in-law recently told me about a website, www.craigslist.com, which is the coolest thing I have ever seen. It is FREE and EASY to sell/buy stuff based on the region you live in. Unlike Ebay, there is no bidding and no one gets a share of your profit. The only downside is that you post something, then people contact you through the Craigslist email, share info., meet up and do the deal.

I have been trying to sell my motorcycle for a while now. I sold the Civic and needed to sell the motorcycle. I put the bike in the front yard and some people would stop and look, but I only had 2 people call about it. Both said they wanted to come see it, but never did.

The other night (7/3), I posted my bike for sale and put some pictures on there. By the morning (7/4), I had 7 emails about the bike. Some said, "I am interested." Some said, "I will offer you X amount." And some some said, "I have cash and will come get it now." I called one guy and he came this morning (7/3) and bought the bike...CASH MONEY!

If you have not heard of Craig's List...check it out. They have cities from all over the place. You can deal across the country, but they suggest that you not do that. Some people even post free stuff. CHECK IT OUT!!!!

Sticking it to the man! AKA Home Depot

I have wanted to post this one for a while, but never have the time or do not remember to post it. I spend a good amount of time and money at Home Depot and what do I get in return…Nothing! I finally got a coupon in the mail for 10% off my next purchase with my Home Depot Consumer Credit Card. EC and I have wanted to buy a storage shed for the backyard, but needed to clear out some stumps, which has been done. So it was time to buy the shed because the coupon expired on June 30th.

While the FIL was here (6/22), we went to buy one because I thought I might need some help loading it if the pallet would not fit on my truck. We had been looking at this one shed for 6 months or so (since we bought the new house) and it had a sign over it (the entire 6 months) for $798. The shed is regularly $848. The HD on our side of town had one, but it was open and missing pieces. The guy at our HD said that the other HD across town had 6. So we went over there and started the process. Before buying it, I asked what the price was and they told me $848. I told them about the sign at the other store so they called and they too said it was $848. I said I can go over there right now and take a picture of the sign with the price $798. They gave me the run around and said that if I could get them to call back over I could get that price. So we go back to the other one.

We get back and they are not very cooperative. I explained all I need them to do is pick up the phone and say $798. I almost had a guy convinced to do, but the FIL who was getting heated chimed in and the guy went to talk to a manager. They did not want to make the call. Instead they told me that they were expecting on in on a truck the next night (6/23), so I could buy that one now and pick it up on Saturday (6/24). I told them if that was the only way to get that price then that is what I would do. I went to the front counter for the paperwork and then I slid my 10% off coupon to the lady who then called the manager. I think he was finished dealing with us and said just do whatever. So instead of paying $848, I paid $720. I say, “I stick it in you Mr. Man.”

Saturday (6/24) comes and I call and the lady at the desk says she has no record of it coming in, but she would check with the manager when he came in. Blah blah blah, we leave town for the day and the manager calls back saying that they have one, so come pick it up. We get home and I go to HD. The manager says we have one that is missing some pieces that I can have and I just have to call an 800 number and the pieces will come in 48hrs. Flashback…the guy a few days earlier had told me that HD had contacted the company a few times to get parts and it took sometimes more than 4 weeks. I told the guy that it was missing parts and that is why I did not buy that one 3 days earlier. I told him I would wait for the one to come in on order. He told me to call him on Tuesday (6/27) to see if it was in.

Tuesday (6/27) arrives and I call the manager. He dicks me around and says that he just got in and has not checked yet…he would call me back. OK asshole, I checked your schedule and you got in at 1pm, it is now 230pm. He calls back and says that they do not have one yet, BUT he is sending one of his workers to the other store to get 1 of their 6 and bring it to our store…because he does not want to keep me on hold any longer. I tell him THANK YOU and I will wait for him to call. He calls around dinnertime and I go to get it.

He is at the front counter when I get there and tells me thanks for my patience and blah blah blah you are getting a great price. I tell him that is why I have been patient because I am getting the GREAT price. It was his way of telling me that he did not have to give me that price. I wanted to tell him that if he had had his retarded employees take down a sign that was 6 months old, we never would have had this problem. Eat shit! “I stick it in you Mr. Man!” Finally, another employee loaded the pallet into my truck and told me that he had gone out in the rain to get this for me from the other store. I told him that I appreciated it, but like I told him a week earlier…I could have gone to the other store last week and got it. He informed me that they wanted the sale. Driving away I tell myself…well then shut your face because I gave you a chance. “I stick it in you! How do you like that Mr. Man? Can you feel that…HUH HUH HUH?”

Peace Monkeys!

GGGGOOOOAAAALLLL!!!!

That's right the World Cup is back on today, which means I have something to watch on TV. SO the agenda for today is as follows: World Cup (11am), bank, Koons Honda to look for a bargain, Old Navy to return something, and the more World Cup (3pm). I will probably feed the baby in there at some point. I might just let the dogs handle the situation.
E has been good today. We got started a little earlier than usual, but we are surviving. Above is a picture of E holding onto his horsey before he threw him off the changing table. Below is a picture of what happens if you squeeze the horsey to tight. EEEEWWWW!!!!
PEACE Monkeys!

Day 2 of SAHD

Here is Evan's outfit for today. He woke up before mommy left for work. She changed him and I fed him. Then we slept in the big bed and layed around until 9am. I changed Evan's clothes and we went downstairs to check out what was on TV. He was crying while I was putting all of the bottles together, so I gave him a bottle and he was fine. Then as he was on the couch, he fell alseep again. I took him upstairs to the big bed so I could take a shower and now here I am. I think I hear him making noise. I will go check on him. We have PT at 130pm.

Peace monkeys!

First Day of SAHD

Well Little E got up right before 6. I plugged a bottle in him. We went back to sleep on the big bed until about 9. Plugged him again. We went downstairs so he could talk with his friends in the pack and play. Then he wanted to sit on the couch and talk with me while we watch "The Longest Yard." As we were watching the movie, he decided he wanted to fall asleep in my arms. When the movie was over, I put him down in the big bed so I could take a shower. He is still sleeping and I am bored. This stuff ain't so hard.

This is a pic of E this morning. I took one of him completely naked, but I thought that could be seen as child pornography. You know that there are sexual predators out there.

I think I will go make some lunch...the preheated oven just beeped.

Plans for the afternoon include: feeding baby, talk to baby, tummy time, TV, pick up mommy.

Where are you from?

The other day I attended the my county's fitness festival. This is where the top kids from each elementary school come together and compete in a mini Olympics based on their fitness test scores at their school. Each kid was a card to pin on the back of his or her shirt which told the timers what school the kid was from and the events that he or she was competing in.

One timer (another PE teacher) came up to me and told me the following story about a kid after she had finished the 800 meter run. The student did not have a card on her back. So the teacher told the student that she finished in 2 minutes and 45 seconds. The teacher then asked where the student was from. The student replied, "Mexico." The teacher wanted to know the school, not the country or origin.

That is what happens when you live in the Mexico of Virginia.

What caption would you use?

Feel free to add your own caption:

"Praise the Lord!"
"It's good!"
"I once caught a fish this big..."
"Hey baby, have you ever seen 12 inches?"
"TOUCHDOWN!"
"Use the force Luke...use the force."
"You got to rise upa!"
"Abbracadabra!"
"Which one is my middle finger?"

Add your captions in the comments.

Oh yeah...the baby

Someone will not get off my back about not posting about the baby.

So...we had one! Check out Erika's blog for the details.

What would you do?

About a month ago, E and I were going out for breakfast and there were cops showing up at this one house. The giant window out front was busted in people were upset in the front yard. When we came back, there were 2 cop cars, a cop SUV, and an animal control truck. Outside of the truck was a rifle case with no gun in it. I started asking people at work to check the police briefs in the paper. Finally, someone said that 4 mexicans had broken into the house beat up the people inside. That never did explain the animal control people, but I went on with my life.

Today, a lady told me that she was told by the resident in that house what really happened. The story goes...a deer was prancing down the front yards of all of these houses and when it got to this house, it took a sharp turn through the front window. Yes, the turn was a right angle turn AND the glass was sharp.

So I ask...WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Would you have called the police? If so, when? I would like to think that I would have disposed of the animal with extreme prejudice. I know that I have more than enough guns to do the job. Diesel (one of our dogs) probably would have gone apeshit, but the deer probably would held its own. The have razor like hooves. I could have taken care of the problem up close and personal with my Taurus 9mm or up close with 30-06, 30-30, shotguns, bow and arrow. Hell I might have gone Rambo style with a few big hunting knives.

OK...OK...I would probably call the police, but if that deer started to mess shit up, all I can say is...HE GONE! Maybe...SHE GONE!

Longest weekend of my life

This was the longest weekend of my life. The whole
world was anxiously waiting for Little E to be born.
I did not sleep very well except for Saturday. I was
up until 4am Friday night and took a Tylenol PM to
fall asleep. Then I slept all night Saturday because
I was so damn tired from not sleeping on Friday. I
was up late last night as well. I was going to get up
and go jogging this morning, but was paralyzed from
lack of sleep.

Now here I sit starting what will probably be the
longest week of my life. I have only been in the
school building for about 5 minutes and have been
asked by every person that I have seen if the baby
came yet. Let's add another douche bag to the
list...just asked.

Let's think about this douche bags...if the baby was
here, do you think that I would be here? Even if it
came last Friday and I was at the hospital all
weekend, don't you think that I would have picture and
be doing cartwheels, so you would not have to ask me.
--- Peace monkeys!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

The clock keeps going, the one on the wall that is. Our countdown clock came to all zeros around midnight last night. Now it is counting up, so we can tell how far late we are. We made it past April Fool's Day, which is a good thing. So now it is time for the baby to come on time. My theory about it being a mental thing was totally wrong! I thought it was a good theory. I have some new theories though, but they are more like random thoughts:

1. If you are a baby that comes extremely late, you will one of those people who are late for everything in life. I do not know if this one will hold water, but I thought I would throw it out there.

2. Maybe EC is holding the baby in there, so it gets big enough to have a C-section. Again, doubt it is true, but she has stated that see would not mind a c-section.

Enough for now, I will go stare at the clock now. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK

EC is a tease!

Yes...everyone already knew that. Yesterday she
emailed me at work to tell me that she had not felt
the baby moving very much. She called the Doctor and
he said to try to eat something and see if there were
any changes. There wasn't much change, so after
dinner we went to the hospital.

At the hospital, she got hooked up to a monitor that
showed the baby's heartbeat and her contractions. The
baby was doing fine and she was having contractions.
They were light and not consistent. They did an
internal...which was HOTT! EC has dialated to 1cm and
is 50% efaced. What does that mean you ask? It means
that she is making progress.

Good news and bad news. Good is that we are getting
closer to baby time. Bad is that her parents have
decided to come up today instead of Thursday. We
called them after we got back from the hospital and
they decided to come up. Anyway that was the
excitement from yesterday.

FU George Mason

I do not know if you all are watching the NCAA tournament or not but George Mason University has to stop winning. Sure, I cheer on the underdog, but this has gone on long enough. For those of you who do not follow the sport of basketball, GMU is a small D1 school. They made it into the Final Four tonight by beating #1 seed UConn. They beat #6 seed Michigan State in the first round. Then they beat the Tarheels (good for them). Then they beat Wichita State (no suprise there). Honestly...good for them. I am happy for them, but this area of Northern Virginia has the biggest bunch of front runners in the world.

Yes, we live 15 minutes from GMU. Nobody around here gives a shit about GMU until they win a few basketball games. There was a girl on the news the other day said, "My degree never meant anything before, but now it does." Dumb Biatch! It is a good size school, but most of its students are commuter students who live in the area that are not smart enough to go somewhere away from home. Don't get me wrong, thye probably have smart people there, but everyone goes there. When I was in high school, everyone got accepted to Virginia Tech, JMU, and Radford. I got into all three, but decided to go to an even worse school.

Back to the front runners...people in this area love the Redskins. If the Redskins win one game, they are automatically going to the Super Bowl. All season long, they talk about the playoffs. Who gives a shit? You win some, you lose some. Celebrate after they win all of the games! So "IF" Georeg Mason wins the championship game, THEN celebrate. Until then...SHUT THE FUCK UP!

If my stupid ass college, won the D3 championship in any sport, I would not give 2 shits about them. They might go D2, but even if they won that I would not care.

GO GATORS next week. Beat those damn Patriots!

AD job

The AD job is supposed to close today. I am hoping that means they will stop taking applications and start setting up interviews. I talked with another AD last week to get some good info for a possible interview. He kept hinting that I might need to get to the high school level and then move into an AD position when it opens up. I can see where he is coming from, but I have had 3 different teaching jobs in 4 years. If I keep hopping around, people will think that I do not like what I do. I think if I were to get this job, I would be happy for a long time. I know that I would definitely be happy with the salary. I guess the next step after that would be a principal or superintendent.

Wish me luck with the whole thing. I just want an interview. I can handle my own in the "board room." I can charm just about anyone. I can see the guy now saying, " J, you're hired!"

Father to son

I had the first father to son talk tonight. I told the baby "Edd" that mommy and I are ready for him to come out now. I told him that he will be taking orders from us for a minimum of the next 18 years, so consider this his first order. I told him to come out. I said this Saturday would be good (25th) because Uncle K would be in town. Sunday would be bad because that I my dad's birthday and we just do not want that.

If the baby does not listen and does not come this weekend...is that grounds for a first spanking?

Uncle K has decided to become a triathlete. His first triathlon is on April 2nd (the due date). We talked on the phone today and he said that he would be carrying his phone during the race. He said it would be funny to get a call on his bike and him have to pull a U-turn to get up here. We shall see.

It's a mental thing

I have a theory...I think that EC is MENTALLY holding the baby in. I know it sounds odd, but hear me out. When we were trying to get pregnant, we talked about why we thought that it took so long (6 plus months) to get pregnant. We came up with a theory then that it was a "mental thing". We made ourselves believe that we were physically, mentally, etc. ready to have a baby. Sure lots of people say they are ready to have a baby when they are trying. But do they truly convince their bodies that they are. Either I am Super Sperm Man or we convinced ourselves that we were ready. I think that we convinced ourselves. God knows I suck at sex! Then again, all I had to do was get the sperm in there...any monkey playing with himself can do that.

Back to the "mental thing." EC's parents come in town on the night of the 30th. We have both said over and over that we are ready for the baby to come. I am phsyically, mentally, and all of the above ready for the baby to come. EC is physically ready for the baby to come out, but in the back of her mind she wants her parents to be here when it happens. I want them to be here too, but I cannot please everyone. The baby is not in me, so I do not think that my brain power has anything to do with anything at this point.

I am predicting that the baby will be born at some point on March 31st. I think after Erika sees her parents on the 30th her body will relax and let the baby slide on out on the 31st. Now, if the body waits too long on the 31st, and it carries over to April 1st...god help us all. EC will be pissed. If I were a betting man...oh wait, I am. I would say. "put your money on the 31st."

I have told my theory to many people and they say they can see where I am coming from. I told this to a mother earlier tonight and she said that there is no mental factor involved. She said that she was ready and the baby came when it wanted to. I do not think she was truly ready, but that is just me. I figure if Dr. Phil can spout out common sense shit and be thought a genius, then I can come up with random shit and do the same. Let's see how my theory stands up to test.

Video monitor

We got our video baby monitor in the mail today. Mr. S and Nikki love us or something. I have not played with it yet, but it looks pretty neat. I think it will also be neat to set up when we have guests and spy on them. We shall see what kind of ideas I come up with. Thanks Nikki and Mr. S.

Aww...how touching

I just finsihed typing a paper that is due tomorrow and it is not quite 2 in the morning so I figured I would waste a few minutes. I went to a funeral today of one of my former basketball player's dad. Did you get that? I went the line and shook everyone's hand and so on. I finally got over to the girl and she and her friend were all sitting down pouting. I came over and they brightened up a little bit. Then one of them asked if I had heard about teh Varsity basketball coach resigning. I told them that I had. They proceeded to ask if I would or was going to come back and coach them. I told them that I applied for the position and they started to get excited. I told them not to get too excited because I only applied...I did not necessarily get the job. I was touching to see that they wanted me to be their coach.

The girl is in 10th grade and her brother is in 8th (I think). Her dad was 52...would have been 53 on the 29th. He was one of my biggest supporters as a basketball coach. At least he got to know that his daughter was going to have a new coach next year before he passed away.

Post asshole!

Does it bother anyone else or just me when someone does not post everyday or at least consistently? I know I do not post everyday, but I do it often enough. Someone tell Mr. S to post. I am feeling gay being the only male in our circle of friends who posts.

One more thing...if you post, please post before 4pm EST maybe 5pm. I like to come home and check my blogs because they are blocked at work. If I can read them all then, then I do not have to check them over and over again all night.

Some Tag Game

Kat tagged me - 6 weird things/habits about me:

1. I like to eat things in 4's (chips, candy, fries).
2. I never take off my wedding ring, except to get cleaned (once every six months).
3. I wait to do all of my assignemnts until the night before they are due.
4. I come home from work, take the browns to the SuperBowl, and check my 6 blogs daily.
5. I check my email every free moment in my day.
6. I say the word "next" on average 150 times a day.

Consider you, me, and any other retard that reads my post TAGGED. Does anyone read my posts?

Hi Baby!

I just wanted to do a quick post to show everyone what the baby is doing today. He is swimming. I think he is hiding his fingers and toes. Anyway...HI BABY!

Appointment update

I just wanted everyone to know that my physical today went well. After my eye exam, I was worried that I would now be diagnosed with some sort of STD, but not today. Everything checked out. I did not have to get a rectal, which is awesome! It is odd enough having a the guy feel my balls..I definitely did not need a finger up my ass.

The best part of the physical was to find out that I have not gained any weight in the past 9 months (no sympathy pounds for me). I also enjoyed when they drew blood. Needles used (notice the "d" at the end of the word "used") to make me a bit ill. Today, I sat there and stared at the needle as it was drove into my arm. It was a thick needle. It looked like a straw with a 45 degree cut on the end. You could here a little pop when it broke the skin. Anyway, I am all checked up and ready to go.

I am never satisfied

I saw a memo posted on the bulletin board at school today. There are 2 Director of Student Activities positions open in the county in which I teach. Director of Student Activities is a long way of saying Athletic Director. I guess there is more to it than athletics, but the bulk is athletics. I am not sure if I am 100% qualified, but I would love to have the job. I would no longer be able to coach, but it would be like bing in charge of every sport. The pay would be almost double of what I am making now. I do not know what it is, but I am never satisfied with what I have. I like the job that I have now, but want this new one. I like my truck, but would like a bigger one. I like my motorcycle, but would rather have a Harley. I like my wife, but Jennifer Aniston is pretty hot too. J/K on that one, but JA is hot! Wish me luck. Even if I do not get the position, I would still like to interview for it so I can get that experience.

Train's Flooring

So my BIL and I put down laminate hardwood flooring at my mom's house this past weekend. It turned out pretty well. It did not go as bad as I thought it might. Anything is an improvemnt from what it was before. My mom is pleased and that is all that matters. We still need to do the trim. I want to do it at my house, but all of the rooms are either real hardwood or carpet. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Check out the pictures below. I am up for hire if you have the money.

Funniest thing of the day

E and I went to my school's happy hour today. I had her hold my driver's license, credit card, and a $20 bill. When the bill came, it was only $12. Yes, I drank more than $12 worth, but I know people and get the hook up where ever I go. I paid with the $20 bill and got back seven $1 bills. I left $4 as a tip. We were getting ready to walk out and E touched the money on the table. It was damp...hello we were in a bar. She asks me, "Is that wet from being in my pocket?".

This was funny for two reasons. (1) She is always complaining that she sweats because she is pregnant. (2) She was holding a $20 bill, not ones. Sometimes you wonder how someone can be so smart, but at the same time not very bright. I guess it was just the moment. She is the smarter of the two of us.

It's about F***ing time!

My brother called me tonight to inform me that the Girls' Varsity Basketball coach at my old high school resigned this week. Let's get a recap really quick. He coached there for 12 years and had 12 losing seasons. This last year he won the first three games of season and then lost the last 22 games. I have posted about this before.

I just sent an email to the AD and the principal asking them what the application process was for this position. Do you think I will get a response? I am not counting on one. Did I want to say "I TOLD YOU SO!"? I sure as hell did. I just want to go through the interview process and see how much tention is in the air. I would love to get that position and turn the program around in one year. I doubt that I would leave my current job, but you never can tell what tomorrow might bring. The rumor is that the assistant coach has already thrown her name in the hat. She is as horrible as he is. She was his assistant for a majority of those years. Her record is just as bas as his is. I will keep you posted.

Thursday Recap

I got out of bed at 7 o'clock. I have to be at school at 7:30 on T, W, and TH. I showered, changed clothes, fed the dogs, made lunch, and got to school by 7:28. I only live 1 mile from school, so I go that going for me. I have to be at school early for this before school program where I get paid $40 an hour extra to sit on my ass in the computer room. I turn on all of the computers and get the internet set to an educational favorites site and let the kids go wild. I usually check my email and check in on my graduate classes.

Today was Dr. Seuss's birthday or some shit like that. The kids and staff were encouraged to dress up like their favorite character from any book. This week is Read Across America Week. Would I know this if I did not work at an elementary school? Hell no! I do not read books. I did not dress up, because I do not have time for that worthless shit. They served green eggs and ham for breakfast, which was not too bad. I am in good with the cafeteria staff, so I always get to eat for free.

I taught a shooting lesson with the 2nd and 3rd graders. I did not have 4th and 5th grade today. I taught one handed form shooting and the kids did well. I even told the kids that they could bring up their guide hand to stabilise the ball, but most of the chose to continue to form shoot because they had the hang of it. Yes, there were those kids who thought that they knew everything and as soon as I gave them some slack, they started that two handed, push from the chest shit. The K and 1st graders played with the juggling scarves. Those little kids eat that shit up. I am a GOD to those kids.

Like I said earlier, I made my lunch this morning, but they were serving chili for lunch. I love me some chili. So I bought lunch and will save the PBJ for tomorrow. While at lunch, one of the lovely single women I eat with suggested a happy hour after school on Friday. I am not one to turn down alcohol even though I already had plans for the Friday. I am the party coordinator at my school. Anyone can send out an email, but they count on me to spread the word. Yes, I cleared it through E first. We are going to Chilis. They have a good happy hour: $2 rails, $2 draft, free wings, and free chips and salsa. It should be a good time.

After school, I did the after school program where I get paid $40 an hour again. All I do if have some kind of physical activity ready for the kids and we go at it for 1.5 hours. Today I threw out the basketballs and shot around. I think next week, I might teach them how to play beer pong (minus the beer). I then came home and read my daily blogs (E, G, K, K, N, and Mr. S). I cannot read them at work because it is one of the restricted sites. I can post by emailing my blog, but I am too lazy to do it. Atfer reading my blogs, I made dinner. We had ham and mac and cheese.

After dinner, I went to my favorite store (THE HOME DEPOT) and bought a new saw blade. I got a 10 inch, 40 teeth, Freud Diablo blade (recommended by Mr. S). My BIL and I are putting in fake hardwood flooring this weekend and my parents house. It should be interesting. I have never done any mechanical type work with him. I hope it goes quickly and smoothly. I am sure I could do it myself, butit helps to have a partner. Then, I watched Survivor (same as any other episode). E and I went to McDonalds for McFlurrys and now I am posting.

Have a good one, I will try to post more often, so I do not write so much at one time. PEACE MONKEYS!

The middle finger

I have a split on the end of my middle finger. I have really dry skin (as if you care). I think my hands got so dry that the other day my finger split open. It pisses me off when I type. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so this is not really painful, just irritating. I have been doing the "man thing" the past few days and just letting it be. Tonight I decided if I want to get back into blogging and typing everyday, I better do something about it. I put some Neosporin and a bandaid on it a few minutes ago. The bandaid actually cushions my finger from the impact on the keyboard.

We have a new keyboard. About a month ago I was up late typing a paper for my graduate class and spilt my tea in the keyboard. The next day some of the keys stuck when I tried to type. I then took it upon myself to order a new keyboard on the internet. Of course I went to my favorite website www.pricegrabber.com. Our entire computer is black, so I had to order a black keyboard. I did not realize how long it was going to take to get the keyboard until I clicked the "finish order" button. I took a month to get here. It is a Microsoft keyboard that came from Gateway. WTF ever!

Explosive Story

E and I were watching the CBS evening news tonight and the dumbass anchorman, Bob Schieffer, well...was a dumbass. News people are always trying to make a play on words, and he tried as well, but he did not have the best choice of words. Here is Bob's intro to his report on suicide bombers: "And now we go to an explosive story on suicide bombers." What an idiot! Seriously, did he realize what he was saying?

Hey 4 Eyes...

When was the last time you went to the eye doctor? I cannot remember the last time I went to one. I know I did not go to one in middle school, high school, or college. I would say that takes me back a good 15+ years. E and I decided (mostly E) that it would be a good idea if I went to the doctor to get a physical, the dentist to get a check up, and the eye doctor to do the same. She wanted me to make sure that I was in top shape for the future.

Is there any doubt? Hello...I got you pregnant in the first month once you got off the pill. I can open anything with my teeth. I can even read small print off a wall across the room. Case closed in my book.

Anyway...I was supposed to accomplish all of my testing before the end of February. Of course I procrastinated. I did get the eye exam today. Like I said, I do not remember the last time I had one, so I did not know what to expect. How do they expect you to she shit when they make you stare into the sun? My right eye is perfect, but my left I eye is retarded or something. I made it through many years of testing spouting out the letters on the eye exam and the repeating those same letters for the other eye. I was told to do the test honestly and I did. What did that get me...GLASSES.

The doctor said I could get glasses if I wanted to do so and that I have great insurance so I might as well use it. Even though it was a big blow to my ego, I did decide to pick out a pair of glasses. Yes...being the Jew that I am, I did pick the cheapest ones. I should have them next week. The doctor said that I could do without, because my right eye is strong enough to compensate for the left eye. She said it would be a good idea to wear them while driving at night.

Back to the ego thing. My older sister and I have always prided ourselves to being the only ones in the family, not in glasses. F that now! All this time, I thought I was perfect. Now, I will be in glasses (at least while driving). When your ego is as big as mine, it probably is good to get knocked down a peg every now and then. Don't you worry, it is still bigger than yours. I guess I will have to shoot for the sophisticated look now.

The way things are going, I might go to my physical and the doctor will tell me that I have AIDS or syphilis. Hell, why not both? I will keep you posted...that appointment is on March 10th.

Blue Light Special at Kmart

EC and I went to Kmart tonight to return some baby things that either we did not need or got duplicates of. We were in line and the girl at the desk called for a manager to come up and help. The manager was helping someone else, but the girl at the desk was telling him about the problem that her customer was having. The manager got rude (which I thought was funny) to this girl's customer and wanted to find out what the deal was. Something happened where this lady did not get back the right amount of money with her refund because the computer was saying something different. The manager asked what the money difference was and she said it was $0.80. Can you belive that? This lady was raising hell about 80 cents.

The manager reached into his pocket and gave the lady a dollar and said "this get her to shut up, we have customers in line." The lady responded that she was a customer also and that he was being rude and she was going to call someone. He replied, "you are not a customer blah blah blah, call whoever you want, call them twice, write them a letter." We did not know what the blah blah blah part was until later. At this point, EC and I were second guessing about asking for a refund. The lady finally left and we got the refund we wanted. We also figured out what the deal was with the other lady.

She is an employee at Kmart who gives everyone hell. That is why the manager said she was not a customer. Here is what I think happened: The lady bought some stuff and used her employee discount. The employee discount is not valid on everything at Kmart. When she tried to return something the computer was not calculating something correctly. So on something that the lady paid full price for, the computer was giving her back the discounted price (80 cents less than she paid).

Don't get me wrong...I enjoyed the whole thing as it went down. It was very unprofessional, the way the manager acted, but the lady was bitching over 80 cents. If I were in the man's shoes I would have done the same thing and then probably choke slammed her right there in the main entrance. The manager told us that they put her working the night shift because they do not want her around many other employees and the customers (they was also inappropriate of him). He then proceeded to check the schedule to see what kind of tasks he could give her that night. He said something about the restrooms were smelling bad. It turns out that she had the night off. Anyway, I just thought I would let you know about the only excitement on my Sunday.

Love of the game

I did not coach basketball this year. This was the first year since I graduated from college that I did not coach basketball. I think a while back I made a comment to my mom that I did not miss it. I never thought I would ever say those words, but I did. At school, we recently started our basketball unit. I am trying to teach kids from kindergarten to 5th grade the fundamentals of the game. That love I have for basketball came back in this past week and a half. I could see that some of these kids, who have no skills, actually grasping the concepts I was teaching. The more I think about what I am doing, the more I realize that I do miss the game. Will I ever get back to the game? Who knows? All I know is, the love of the game is still there.

When winning is not important

For those who do not know me, I started a new job this year teaching PE at an elementary school. I used to teach biology at a high school where I also coached girls' JV basketball. I coached there for 2 years. The first year was horrible, but the second year we had a winning season at 11-10. We would have gone 12-10, but one of the games was cancelled because of weather. I only had 8 players on my team because the Varsity coach decided that he would pull my studs up to Varsity where they could sit the bench and not play. The freshmen team the year before, which would have been on my team, only lost 2 games. My 11-10 record might have been 19-2 if the Varsity coach would not have picked me clean. My team set goals to have a winning season and as a back up goal have a better record than the Varsity team. They made it easy on us because they only had 8 wins.

The Varsity coach has been the coach for 12 years. Guess how many winning seasons he has had?...WAIT FOR IT...WAIT FOR IT...0. That's right a huge goose egg. You tell me how many coaches in America or the world keep their jobs with that bad of a record. I used to have his full record over that time frame and I think he had a winning percentage under 33%. The closest his team came was one game under .500.

After my winning season and another losing season for the Varsity team, I sent a letter to the AD stating that if the position came open I would like to be considered for it. He took this the wrong way and thought that I was stabbing the man in the back. I can see where he was coming from, but I just simply wanted to be considered. I was pretty much told "tough shit." The high school is about to split into 2 schools in 2007. The AD asked why would he get rid of a coach when he was going to need as many coaches as possible in 2007. I told him because he might want to win some games.

I left the school system for many reasons and the conversation with the AD played a role in my decision. Even though I know that I made the right decision, I would have stayed in the county if I would have been able to take over the Varsity position. For that reason only, I would have stayed! I did not get the position and I did not stay.

This past season, the Varsity team, which was made up of most of my winning team from last year and a few other strong players, went 3-20. The three games they won were against 2 single A schools (beat one once and the other twice). Our school is double A, which means we are bigger. The team they beat once, they beat by 39 points. When they lost, they lost by 13. That is a 52 point swing. They won the first three games of the year against weaker teams, and then went on a 20 game losing streak. WOW!

I have talked with people in the county about this and they say that there are 6 people interested in the Varsity position when the schools split. That is enough to cover all of the teams in the girls' program right now. Why wait? The AD said he would be struggling to find coaches...looks like they are there.

Here is a quote from a local paper after the Varsity team was destroyed (67-30) in the first round of the district tournament: “We haven’t had the season we had hoped we would, but the girls had great spirit all year long." “The last half of the season they came out and played. Tonight, they all played and scored and that’s what they signed up for in November.”

Maybe next year he should have the girls sign up to win. That is what I had my girls do. They said they wanted to win and that is what we did. WHEN WINNING IS NOT IMPORTANT...YOU LOSE!!!!

MYSPACE douche bags

I just wanted to give a shout out to all of the MYSPACE douche bags. I did what all of you do and stood as close to the camera as possible when I took my picture. I hate MYSPACE...just when you thought all of the sexual predators chatted on AOL, they create MYSPACE...perverts. Hello...if you cannot get laid in the real world, the computer is not going to help you. Try Rosie Palmer, I hear she is still single.