Sticking it to the man! AKA Home Depot

I have wanted to post this one for a while, but never have the time or do not remember to post it. I spend a good amount of time and money at Home Depot and what do I get in return…Nothing! I finally got a coupon in the mail for 10% off my next purchase with my Home Depot Consumer Credit Card. EC and I have wanted to buy a storage shed for the backyard, but needed to clear out some stumps, which has been done. So it was time to buy the shed because the coupon expired on June 30th.

While the FIL was here (6/22), we went to buy one because I thought I might need some help loading it if the pallet would not fit on my truck. We had been looking at this one shed for 6 months or so (since we bought the new house) and it had a sign over it (the entire 6 months) for $798. The shed is regularly $848. The HD on our side of town had one, but it was open and missing pieces. The guy at our HD said that the other HD across town had 6. So we went over there and started the process. Before buying it, I asked what the price was and they told me $848. I told them about the sign at the other store so they called and they too said it was $848. I said I can go over there right now and take a picture of the sign with the price $798. They gave me the run around and said that if I could get them to call back over I could get that price. So we go back to the other one.

We get back and they are not very cooperative. I explained all I need them to do is pick up the phone and say $798. I almost had a guy convinced to do, but the FIL who was getting heated chimed in and the guy went to talk to a manager. They did not want to make the call. Instead they told me that they were expecting on in on a truck the next night (6/23), so I could buy that one now and pick it up on Saturday (6/24). I told them if that was the only way to get that price then that is what I would do. I went to the front counter for the paperwork and then I slid my 10% off coupon to the lady who then called the manager. I think he was finished dealing with us and said just do whatever. So instead of paying $848, I paid $720. I say, “I stick it in you Mr. Man.”

Saturday (6/24) comes and I call and the lady at the desk says she has no record of it coming in, but she would check with the manager when he came in. Blah blah blah, we leave town for the day and the manager calls back saying that they have one, so come pick it up. We get home and I go to HD. The manager says we have one that is missing some pieces that I can have and I just have to call an 800 number and the pieces will come in 48hrs. Flashback…the guy a few days earlier had told me that HD had contacted the company a few times to get parts and it took sometimes more than 4 weeks. I told the guy that it was missing parts and that is why I did not buy that one 3 days earlier. I told him I would wait for the one to come in on order. He told me to call him on Tuesday (6/27) to see if it was in.

Tuesday (6/27) arrives and I call the manager. He dicks me around and says that he just got in and has not checked yet…he would call me back. OK asshole, I checked your schedule and you got in at 1pm, it is now 230pm. He calls back and says that they do not have one yet, BUT he is sending one of his workers to the other store to get 1 of their 6 and bring it to our store…because he does not want to keep me on hold any longer. I tell him THANK YOU and I will wait for him to call. He calls around dinnertime and I go to get it.

He is at the front counter when I get there and tells me thanks for my patience and blah blah blah you are getting a great price. I tell him that is why I have been patient because I am getting the GREAT price. It was his way of telling me that he did not have to give me that price. I wanted to tell him that if he had had his retarded employees take down a sign that was 6 months old, we never would have had this problem. Eat shit! “I stick it in you Mr. Man!” Finally, another employee loaded the pallet into my truck and told me that he had gone out in the rain to get this for me from the other store. I told him that I appreciated it, but like I told him a week earlier…I could have gone to the other store last week and got it. He informed me that they wanted the sale. Driving away I tell myself…well then shut your face because I gave you a chance. “I stick it in you! How do you like that Mr. Man? Can you feel that…HUH HUH HUH?”

Peace Monkeys!

GGGGOOOOAAAALLLL!!!!

That's right the World Cup is back on today, which means I have something to watch on TV. SO the agenda for today is as follows: World Cup (11am), bank, Koons Honda to look for a bargain, Old Navy to return something, and the more World Cup (3pm). I will probably feed the baby in there at some point. I might just let the dogs handle the situation.
E has been good today. We got started a little earlier than usual, but we are surviving. Above is a picture of E holding onto his horsey before he threw him off the changing table. Below is a picture of what happens if you squeeze the horsey to tight. EEEEWWWW!!!!
PEACE Monkeys!

Day 2 of SAHD

Here is Evan's outfit for today. He woke up before mommy left for work. She changed him and I fed him. Then we slept in the big bed and layed around until 9am. I changed Evan's clothes and we went downstairs to check out what was on TV. He was crying while I was putting all of the bottles together, so I gave him a bottle and he was fine. Then as he was on the couch, he fell alseep again. I took him upstairs to the big bed so I could take a shower and now here I am. I think I hear him making noise. I will go check on him. We have PT at 130pm.

Peace monkeys!

First Day of SAHD

Well Little E got up right before 6. I plugged a bottle in him. We went back to sleep on the big bed until about 9. Plugged him again. We went downstairs so he could talk with his friends in the pack and play. Then he wanted to sit on the couch and talk with me while we watch "The Longest Yard." As we were watching the movie, he decided he wanted to fall asleep in my arms. When the movie was over, I put him down in the big bed so I could take a shower. He is still sleeping and I am bored. This stuff ain't so hard.

This is a pic of E this morning. I took one of him completely naked, but I thought that could be seen as child pornography. You know that there are sexual predators out there.

I think I will go make some lunch...the preheated oven just beeped.

Plans for the afternoon include: feeding baby, talk to baby, tummy time, TV, pick up mommy.

Where are you from?

The other day I attended the my county's fitness festival. This is where the top kids from each elementary school come together and compete in a mini Olympics based on their fitness test scores at their school. Each kid was a card to pin on the back of his or her shirt which told the timers what school the kid was from and the events that he or she was competing in.

One timer (another PE teacher) came up to me and told me the following story about a kid after she had finished the 800 meter run. The student did not have a card on her back. So the teacher told the student that she finished in 2 minutes and 45 seconds. The teacher then asked where the student was from. The student replied, "Mexico." The teacher wanted to know the school, not the country or origin.

That is what happens when you live in the Mexico of Virginia.

What caption would you use?

Feel free to add your own caption:

"Praise the Lord!"
"It's good!"
"I once caught a fish this big..."
"Hey baby, have you ever seen 12 inches?"
"TOUCHDOWN!"
"Use the force Luke...use the force."
"You got to rise upa!"
"Abbracadabra!"
"Which one is my middle finger?"

Add your captions in the comments.

Oh yeah...the baby

Someone will not get off my back about not posting about the baby.

So...we had one! Check out Erika's blog for the details.

What would you do?

About a month ago, E and I were going out for breakfast and there were cops showing up at this one house. The giant window out front was busted in people were upset in the front yard. When we came back, there were 2 cop cars, a cop SUV, and an animal control truck. Outside of the truck was a rifle case with no gun in it. I started asking people at work to check the police briefs in the paper. Finally, someone said that 4 mexicans had broken into the house beat up the people inside. That never did explain the animal control people, but I went on with my life.

Today, a lady told me that she was told by the resident in that house what really happened. The story goes...a deer was prancing down the front yards of all of these houses and when it got to this house, it took a sharp turn through the front window. Yes, the turn was a right angle turn AND the glass was sharp.

So I ask...WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Would you have called the police? If so, when? I would like to think that I would have disposed of the animal with extreme prejudice. I know that I have more than enough guns to do the job. Diesel (one of our dogs) probably would have gone apeshit, but the deer probably would held its own. The have razor like hooves. I could have taken care of the problem up close and personal with my Taurus 9mm or up close with 30-06, 30-30, shotguns, bow and arrow. Hell I might have gone Rambo style with a few big hunting knives.

OK...OK...I would probably call the police, but if that deer started to mess shit up, all I can say is...HE GONE! Maybe...SHE GONE!

Longest weekend of my life

This was the longest weekend of my life. The whole
world was anxiously waiting for Little E to be born.
I did not sleep very well except for Saturday. I was
up until 4am Friday night and took a Tylenol PM to
fall asleep. Then I slept all night Saturday because
I was so damn tired from not sleeping on Friday. I
was up late last night as well. I was going to get up
and go jogging this morning, but was paralyzed from
lack of sleep.

Now here I sit starting what will probably be the
longest week of my life. I have only been in the
school building for about 5 minutes and have been
asked by every person that I have seen if the baby
came yet. Let's add another douche bag to the
list...just asked.

Let's think about this douche bags...if the baby was
here, do you think that I would be here? Even if it
came last Friday and I was at the hospital all
weekend, don't you think that I would have picture and
be doing cartwheels, so you would not have to ask me.
--- Peace monkeys!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

The clock keeps going, the one on the wall that is. Our countdown clock came to all zeros around midnight last night. Now it is counting up, so we can tell how far late we are. We made it past April Fool's Day, which is a good thing. So now it is time for the baby to come on time. My theory about it being a mental thing was totally wrong! I thought it was a good theory. I have some new theories though, but they are more like random thoughts:

1. If you are a baby that comes extremely late, you will one of those people who are late for everything in life. I do not know if this one will hold water, but I thought I would throw it out there.

2. Maybe EC is holding the baby in there, so it gets big enough to have a C-section. Again, doubt it is true, but she has stated that see would not mind a c-section.

Enough for now, I will go stare at the clock now. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK

EC is a tease!

Yes...everyone already knew that. Yesterday she
emailed me at work to tell me that she had not felt
the baby moving very much. She called the Doctor and
he said to try to eat something and see if there were
any changes. There wasn't much change, so after
dinner we went to the hospital.

At the hospital, she got hooked up to a monitor that
showed the baby's heartbeat and her contractions. The
baby was doing fine and she was having contractions.
They were light and not consistent. They did an
internal...which was HOTT! EC has dialated to 1cm and
is 50% efaced. What does that mean you ask? It means
that she is making progress.

Good news and bad news. Good is that we are getting
closer to baby time. Bad is that her parents have
decided to come up today instead of Thursday. We
called them after we got back from the hospital and
they decided to come up. Anyway that was the
excitement from yesterday.

FU George Mason

I do not know if you all are watching the NCAA tournament or not but George Mason University has to stop winning. Sure, I cheer on the underdog, but this has gone on long enough. For those of you who do not follow the sport of basketball, GMU is a small D1 school. They made it into the Final Four tonight by beating #1 seed UConn. They beat #6 seed Michigan State in the first round. Then they beat the Tarheels (good for them). Then they beat Wichita State (no suprise there). Honestly...good for them. I am happy for them, but this area of Northern Virginia has the biggest bunch of front runners in the world.

Yes, we live 15 minutes from GMU. Nobody around here gives a shit about GMU until they win a few basketball games. There was a girl on the news the other day said, "My degree never meant anything before, but now it does." Dumb Biatch! It is a good size school, but most of its students are commuter students who live in the area that are not smart enough to go somewhere away from home. Don't get me wrong, thye probably have smart people there, but everyone goes there. When I was in high school, everyone got accepted to Virginia Tech, JMU, and Radford. I got into all three, but decided to go to an even worse school.

Back to the front runners...people in this area love the Redskins. If the Redskins win one game, they are automatically going to the Super Bowl. All season long, they talk about the playoffs. Who gives a shit? You win some, you lose some. Celebrate after they win all of the games! So "IF" Georeg Mason wins the championship game, THEN celebrate. Until then...SHUT THE FUCK UP!

If my stupid ass college, won the D3 championship in any sport, I would not give 2 shits about them. They might go D2, but even if they won that I would not care.

GO GATORS next week. Beat those damn Patriots!

AD job

The AD job is supposed to close today. I am hoping that means they will stop taking applications and start setting up interviews. I talked with another AD last week to get some good info for a possible interview. He kept hinting that I might need to get to the high school level and then move into an AD position when it opens up. I can see where he is coming from, but I have had 3 different teaching jobs in 4 years. If I keep hopping around, people will think that I do not like what I do. I think if I were to get this job, I would be happy for a long time. I know that I would definitely be happy with the salary. I guess the next step after that would be a principal or superintendent.

Wish me luck with the whole thing. I just want an interview. I can handle my own in the "board room." I can charm just about anyone. I can see the guy now saying, " J, you're hired!"

Father to son

I had the first father to son talk tonight. I told the baby "Edd" that mommy and I are ready for him to come out now. I told him that he will be taking orders from us for a minimum of the next 18 years, so consider this his first order. I told him to come out. I said this Saturday would be good (25th) because Uncle K would be in town. Sunday would be bad because that I my dad's birthday and we just do not want that.

If the baby does not listen and does not come this weekend...is that grounds for a first spanking?

Uncle K has decided to become a triathlete. His first triathlon is on April 2nd (the due date). We talked on the phone today and he said that he would be carrying his phone during the race. He said it would be funny to get a call on his bike and him have to pull a U-turn to get up here. We shall see.

It's a mental thing

I have a theory...I think that EC is MENTALLY holding the baby in. I know it sounds odd, but hear me out. When we were trying to get pregnant, we talked about why we thought that it took so long (6 plus months) to get pregnant. We came up with a theory then that it was a "mental thing". We made ourselves believe that we were physically, mentally, etc. ready to have a baby. Sure lots of people say they are ready to have a baby when they are trying. But do they truly convince their bodies that they are. Either I am Super Sperm Man or we convinced ourselves that we were ready. I think that we convinced ourselves. God knows I suck at sex! Then again, all I had to do was get the sperm in there...any monkey playing with himself can do that.

Back to the "mental thing." EC's parents come in town on the night of the 30th. We have both said over and over that we are ready for the baby to come. I am phsyically, mentally, and all of the above ready for the baby to come. EC is physically ready for the baby to come out, but in the back of her mind she wants her parents to be here when it happens. I want them to be here too, but I cannot please everyone. The baby is not in me, so I do not think that my brain power has anything to do with anything at this point.

I am predicting that the baby will be born at some point on March 31st. I think after Erika sees her parents on the 30th her body will relax and let the baby slide on out on the 31st. Now, if the body waits too long on the 31st, and it carries over to April 1st...god help us all. EC will be pissed. If I were a betting man...oh wait, I am. I would say. "put your money on the 31st."

I have told my theory to many people and they say they can see where I am coming from. I told this to a mother earlier tonight and she said that there is no mental factor involved. She said that she was ready and the baby came when it wanted to. I do not think she was truly ready, but that is just me. I figure if Dr. Phil can spout out common sense shit and be thought a genius, then I can come up with random shit and do the same. Let's see how my theory stands up to test.

Video monitor

We got our video baby monitor in the mail today. Mr. S and Nikki love us or something. I have not played with it yet, but it looks pretty neat. I think it will also be neat to set up when we have guests and spy on them. We shall see what kind of ideas I come up with. Thanks Nikki and Mr. S.

Aww...how touching

I just finsihed typing a paper that is due tomorrow and it is not quite 2 in the morning so I figured I would waste a few minutes. I went to a funeral today of one of my former basketball player's dad. Did you get that? I went the line and shook everyone's hand and so on. I finally got over to the girl and she and her friend were all sitting down pouting. I came over and they brightened up a little bit. Then one of them asked if I had heard about teh Varsity basketball coach resigning. I told them that I had. They proceeded to ask if I would or was going to come back and coach them. I told them that I applied for the position and they started to get excited. I told them not to get too excited because I only applied...I did not necessarily get the job. I was touching to see that they wanted me to be their coach.

The girl is in 10th grade and her brother is in 8th (I think). Her dad was 52...would have been 53 on the 29th. He was one of my biggest supporters as a basketball coach. At least he got to know that his daughter was going to have a new coach next year before he passed away.

Post asshole!

Does it bother anyone else or just me when someone does not post everyday or at least consistently? I know I do not post everyday, but I do it often enough. Someone tell Mr. S to post. I am feeling gay being the only male in our circle of friends who posts.

One more thing...if you post, please post before 4pm EST maybe 5pm. I like to come home and check my blogs because they are blocked at work. If I can read them all then, then I do not have to check them over and over again all night.

Some Tag Game

Kat tagged me - 6 weird things/habits about me:

1. I like to eat things in 4's (chips, candy, fries).
2. I never take off my wedding ring, except to get cleaned (once every six months).
3. I wait to do all of my assignemnts until the night before they are due.
4. I come home from work, take the browns to the SuperBowl, and check my 6 blogs daily.
5. I check my email every free moment in my day.
6. I say the word "next" on average 150 times a day.

Consider you, me, and any other retard that reads my post TAGGED. Does anyone read my posts?

Hi Baby!

I just wanted to do a quick post to show everyone what the baby is doing today. He is swimming. I think he is hiding his fingers and toes. Anyway...HI BABY!